You Don't Lack Discipline—You Just Need an Identity Shift

Ana Skenderska
May 17
3 min read

Updated: May 18

I used to beat myself up for “lack of discipline.” I’d wake up with grand plans—journal, meditate, hit the gym—only to collapse back into the same old habits by midday. Sound familiar? If you’ve ever felt frustrated that no amount of willpower seems to stick, you’re not broken. You simply haven’t addressed the real issue beneath the surface.

Reframe Your Current Approach

Most of us believe the root cause of inconsistency is laziness or lack of discipline. But here’s the perspective shift: discipline is merely a temporary fix—a band-aid on a deeper wound. Imagine trying to cure a persistent headache by popping painkillers every hour. Sure, the pain subsides briefly, but the underlying cause—stress, poor sleep, vision problems—remains. In the same way, willpower will only carry you so far.

What’s Actually Going On

The real problem? Identity mismatch. You can’t build “new you” habits while still clinging to “old you” beliefs. Science tells us 95% of our actions stem from the subconscious mind—our autopilot—while only 5% come from conscious effort. If your subconscious identity still believes you’re someone who skips workouts or succumbs to late-night scrolling, you’ll keep repeating those patterns, no matter how motivated you feel first thing in the morning.

My Story of Shifting Identities

Let me take you back to the moment everything changed. I was cycling to university after weeks of sleepless nights, overworking myself to prove I mattered. My phone had ended up in the fridge more than once, I’d burned myself in the kitchen, and yet I kept pushing. On that morning, a car barreled toward me. My reflexes were so dulled from burnout that my legs didn’t move in time. I skidded to a halt just inches away—heart pounding—and the driver jumped out, furious. I don’t blame them. That close call was my wake-up call.

I realized that despite “doing everything right,” something was profoundly wrong. I’d ignored the pressure cooker inside—old beliefs whispering I didn’t deserve ease or pleasure. First, I saw a psychologist, which helped momentarily but didn’t stick. The true transformation happened when I dove deeper: I unpacked my childhood programming, reprogrammed it with mindfulness exercises, and journaled relentlessly until I understood where each belief came from.

That process took time. I sifted through layers of “I’m not enough,” rediscovered my worth, and practiced visualizations to familiarize my mind with a future self who felt deserving of joy. Gradually, workouts shifted from chores to cravings, and my calendar filled with friend dates and creative experiments. Today, I live with excitement, joy, and fulfillment—things I once thought were reserved for other people.

The Method: How to Shift Your Identity

Clarify Your Future Self
- Paint a vivid picture of who you want to become: how you feel, what you do, who you surround yourself with.
- I created a vision board to familiarise my brain with a future Ana who felt worthy of rest, joy, and success.
Unpack Old Programming
- Journal relentlessly to trace beliefs back to their origins—childhood messages, past failures, cultural expectations.
- I used mindfulness techniques to witness and release the “I’m not good enough” loop that led to burnout.
Reprogram with Neuroscience-Backed Tools
- Use visualisation, emotional coding, and daily affirmations—emotionally charged, not rote statements.
- Over time, these practices rewired my subconscious so that seeking pleasure and balance felt natural, not indulgent.
Set Expert Standards
- Work with someone at a higher level than you—whether a coach, mentor, or community.
- My world-champion bodybuilder trainer didn’t just give me workouts; he set a new baseline for what I could achieve.
Design Your Supporting Environment
- Declutter relationships and spaces that reinforce old habits. Invite in people, places, and rituals aligned with your future identity.
- I let go of toxic obligations and reclaimed my calendar for both work and play.
Lean on Short-Term Discipline
- Use willpower strategically to launch new routines. Two months of intentional effort often cements a habit so deeply that it no longer requires special effort—it becomes who you are.
Ready to stop fighting willpower and start owning your future identity? I invite you to join the Become Limitless course waitlist. Inside, you’ll get guided visualisations, mindset exercises, and the step-by-step framework that helped me transform near-disaster into a life full of joy, energy, and purpose.