The Hidden Truth About Why You're Feeling Lost (And It's Not What You Think)
- Ana Skenderska
- Jun 14
- 3 min read
I'm about to tell you something that might completely shift how you see your struggles.
You clicked on this because you're feeling lost. Overwhelmed. Running all over the place but getting nowhere. You feel pressure constantly, like you have to perform but nothing feels right anymore. You don't even know who you are.
And here's what I need you to understand: This isn't your fault.
For 26 years of my life—I'm 28 now—I lived in this exact space. That brain fog, that confusion, that feeling of being completely disconnected from myself. I know really well how you're feeling, and I want you to know that you are not alone.
The True Reason Why You Feel Lost
Everyone thinks feeling lost comes from external circumstances. Work stress, relationship problems, financial pressure. But these are just triggers—effects of a much deeper cause.
The truth that shocked me when I learned it from Dr. Gabor Maté: Even when we're embryos in the womb, our brains are affected by our mother's emotional state. Everything our mothers go through while carrying us starts shaping our nervous system before we're even born.
This programming doesn't stop there. Throughout childhood, we keep collecting data that reinforces beliefs created in our earliest moments. Most of the time—if not all of the time—when you feel lost and lack clarity, it's coming from childhood programming and trauma.
Trauma Isn't What You Think
Listen, trauma isn't just sexual abuse or physical abuse. It's what happened inside you as a result of what happened to you.
Needs neglect is trauma. Emotional abuse is trauma. Growing up in a family where emotions weren't processed is trauma. Having parents who praised you only for performance—academic achievements, being "good"—while neglecting your need for physical activity, emotional expression, and just being loved as you are? That's trauma, too.
Here's what happens: You learn you have to perform to be good enough. You learn to neglect your own needs. You become a people pleaser or develop narcissistic patterns. You turn to addictions—work, substances, perfectionism, even appearance obsessions—as defense mechanisms.
And society reinforces all of this. Those Instagram filters making you feel like you need to look different? Those social media platforms taking advantage of your deepest insecurities? It's all designed to keep you disconnected from yourself.
The Path Back to Yourself
I found myself two years ago after being lost for 26 years. The journey isn't easy, but the other side is so beautiful I can't even explain it to you. Pure alignment, truly high on life, feeling that inner peace no matter what's happening externally.
Here's the truth: You can't think your way out of emotional patterns that have been running your life since childhood. You have to feel your way through them.
The steps are simple but not easy:
Compassionate curiosity instead of self-judgment. Stop asking "Why am I so stupid?" Start asking "What might be causing this pattern?"
Spend time alone with yourself. No phone, no distractions. Sit with your feelings. Write as much as you can. Cry as much as you can. Express what you've been collecting collecting collecting for years.
Ask for help. Find a therapist, join a healing program, start this inner work journey. Your body will know what feels right.
Understand it takes time. The healing journey goes down before it goes up. You'll feel worse before you feel better. But once you climb out, you never go back.
People Also Ask
Q: How do I know if my childhood affected me if I don't remember much? A: Not remembering is actually a sign of trauma. Your nervous system protected you by blocking out painful memories. The patterns show up in your adult life—people pleasing, perfectionism, difficulty with intimacy, addictive behaviors.
Q: Can I heal childhood trauma without therapy? A: While professional help is ideal, healing can start with self-awareness, journaling, spending time in solitude, and learning about childhood development. The key is creating safe spaces to feel and express suppressed emotions.
Q: Why do I feel worse when I start working on myself? A: This is completely normal. You're processing emotions you've avoided for years. The healing journey typically gets harder before it gets easier—like descending into a valley before climbing to new heights.
Q: How long does it take to feel clarity instead of confusion? A: Everyone's timeline is different, but most people start experiencing shifts within 3-6 months of consistent inner work. Full transformation often takes 1-3 years, but the journey itself becomes rewarding once you understand the process.
Ready to go deeper? I've created a comprehensive course that walks you through this exact transformation process. Because believe me—you deserve to feel the clarity, peace, and alignment that's waiting for you on the other side of this work.
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